And....panic???

Wait, I can't find the panic button, but that's reason to panic, too, right?? Help! Where is the panic button?? One thing I have been dealing with right now is that it feels like I am on the verge of hitting the panic button for even the simplest of decisions. I'm not sure if this is related to the pregnancy and hormones and all that bundle of fun, or if it's something completely different, but it's there. Seriously, some mornings having to get dressed and not knowing what to put on (say, if my few clothes that still fit are all dirty) feels like a perfectly good reason to push that button. I have heard of pregnant women getting anxieties, but I always thought they were for *perfectly reasonable* (if not commonly thought of) things like the bridge collapsing when you go over it. Mine are completely silly things, and logically, I KNOW that, but my feelings don't seem to know that. I mean, its not like I would die or anything if I didn't know the answer... Not sure what to eat for lunch? Stress, worry, think, think, stress, dig, figure, think......and if I haven't figured something out by then...PANIC! I'm like my toddler, I need to limit every question to no more than two options...what would you like to wear today, Jen, boots or shoes? Shoes? Okay, slip-on or tennies? Etc. Because of this, I've gotten very good at being INCREDIBLY detailed.....my calendar has: A morning activity, what we're having for lunch, an evening activity, and what I need to take out for lunch the next day, written on it for each day of the week, even though every Monday I have the same activities planned (unless there is an appointment or something that day) and every Tuesday and so on. Because I like to know what we're doing just by knowing what day it is (if I can remember what day it is, or what I had planned for that day, even though its been the same for months now), or by what we did in the morning, or perhaps because, right now, I just like routine. crave it, even. I even schedule in grocery shopping and laundry so I can avoid above mentioned stress/panic attacks. This is what I need to do to maintain my sanity. It also doesn't help that I have been incredibly forgetful. I need to write everything down. Running into the store to pick up a new pair of mittens to replace the ones my toddler lost and my husband asks me to grab him something to drink? Well, even though I say, 'sure, no problem' like I've always done, I just consider myself lucky I came out with the mittens, poor guy. If the tables were turned and he forgot my drink, it would probably be good reason to panic, too, because I was THIRSTY gol-darn-it! And so, I'd probably get upset and cry. Or almost cry. He just can't win.

So, my latest stress session has been...how often do I blog?? Everyday? Twice a week? Once a week? Biweekly? And I have wondered and pondered ever since starting my first blog post. Ugh. Really, who cares? Well, I care, actually. I want to blog often enough to keep people interested, because I know I want readers (preferably ones who comment) so I want to write often enough to keep up interest, but not so often I will become overwhelmed (remember previously mentioned energy levels. Or, rather, lack thereof). So...I have panicked myself right into the decision that I'm going to shoot for twice a week, because even though I am the kind of person who likes to establish habits (at least right now) once a day would simply be too much. It would cut into my sleep, I know, and being a partial insomniac right now (again, pretty sure I can thank pregnancy for this) I just can't allow that. And once a week would not be often enough, I'm guessing. I'd forget, or procrastinate, or decide it was okay to skip a week, which too easily becomes two weeks, which quickly becomes a month....I think you can see where I'm going with that. Whew. Now that we have THAT panic attack figured out...lets get started shall we?