While I seem to be having more energy, and I was determined to get this blog back up and running, every time I sit in front of the computer screen, I feel as blank inside as the page in front of me. I want to write something positive, inspired, and inspiring, but I just don't feel particularly positive, inspired, or inspiring. It seems that I have a bit more energy, but I'm lost on what to do with it, which leaves me feeling bored and listless. Of course there are things I
could do, like plan and organize freezer meals for after baby comes, but my brain can't seem to focus on the research that takes. I Google "dairy free freezer meals" and instantly feel overwhelmed, plus unless Cheerio is in quiet time, she's at my elbow chattering away, wondering what I am doing, and when I am going to get off the computer. My husband is working twelve hour days, and even pulled an eight hour shift on one of his "weekend" days this past week. And while it feels like we were desperate for the extra cushion of money that brings in, it is difficult. We just don't see him anymore. Cheerio and I (well, really, I) had decided that it would be better for us to spend a bit more time at home, but suddenly we find ourselves car-less and spending a lot more time at home than we anticipated, while my car is excruciatingly slowly having an antifreeze leak fixed. Those two things combined, all at once, leaves me longing for a connection with someone. And I think Cheerio is noticing, too. Constantly wanting me to entertain her, asking to go to the library, to play with her 'friends' I really should focus and figure out the bus system here, since the bus stop is less than a block away from us, but it feels daunting, I have never taken a bus anywhere in my life. And I'm really terrible with street names. But, the bus could get us to many places; the mall, the library, the family museum...
But even those things are not exactly what I am looking for either. I want someone to come over and chat, and someone with whom Cheerio can interact with, too. We find ourselves bumping into each other in this small apartment, looking for things to do, people to talk to, something to inspire us. This, too, shall pass....
