This was NOT a drill...

Last week we experience a fire in our apartment building. We were incredibly lucky to be evacuated and out safely while seeing nothing more than a few tendrils of billowing smoke curling along the ceiling. The firemen came and went. When all was said and done, we came out with no damage but a lingering smoke smell seeping in through our walls from the hallway. For me it was inconvenient, a little surreal (these are things you only HEAR about right??), and a touch scary: Okay, I'll be honest here, I had nothing prepared for in case of fire, and since my cell phone and purse are rarely in their designated "spots" I left the house with my mostly-to-half naked children and one very large blanket dragging along behind us to curl up in-thankfully I was dressed at least! We had a very kind lady from the next building over take us into her apartment shortly after arriving slipper-footed in the parking lot (another thing I'm thankful for-I rarely wear slippers in the apartment!). While Cheerio doesn't seem to be traumatized (again, thankful!), neither do I appreciate comments about how 'exciting' this must have been for her! Honestly, I think she just found it rather inconvenient as well, she just wanted to go back home and continue her day! As did my poor baby, who was yanked from the comfort of her nap with none of her paci's to keep her calm. But, back to my point; A fire is not exciting, someone lost their home-at least temporarily- and probably a great number of belongings that day. Why do we teach our children that firemen and police officers have exciting careers? While I have great respect and a deep sense of wonder for all these hero's accomplish in their every day lives, neither do I wish my children willy-nilly choose to risk their lives in this type of profession. If my child should choose to become a firefighter, or a police officer, or to fight for my freedom, or any other such profession, I can only hope it would be for much more honorable reasons than the fact that people view it as exciting. I can only hope they will be more passionate about their career choice-whatever it may be.

Image from here.

An old part of me....

I discovered a small book of poems I had written quite a few years ago. It is amazing to look at them and see how far I have come in finding meaning and happiness for my life. I have chosen to share them with you in the next few weeks/months and hope you will be kind to the person I once was. It is hard for me to type them up exactly as they are and not change anything-wording, content, punctuation, but I did it! They're all typed up, but I'll share them one at a time as seems appropriate. I actually feel they are quite poetic in their own way. Who knew poems were so fun? Enjoy!

gone
with a gentle hug
you wiped away the tears.

sunlight dazzled off the water,
sparkles glittered in the dew.

and you promised
all you wanted for me was happiness.

then you went home for the day, the week, the year,
and you took all of the sunshine away.

I could no longer believe everything you had to say
and I need relief from that pain.
~2006

Do you like to write poems, read poems, or are poems a bit too vague for you, generally?

Sharing Another's Joy

I have recently had a couple conversations lately where I have been telling someone about an aspect in my life and they responded with "I'm so happy for you!" and I wonder...why don't I use that phrase more often? It is such a simple thing that can mean so much. Often it's the big things we wish to share with our friends- A move, deciding on a major in college, a marriage, a new baby, a vacation. But sometimes it's the little things that make the most impact on the person sharing the news, because they say more about who we are: A far-away friend blessed with a sunny day, a cup of coffee, a new pair of shoes, a secret pleasure (like coloring in coloring books at 26 years old), even a pack of bubble gum! So, when someone comes to us to share news that they are excited about, why is it so hard for us to say "I'm so happy for you!"? I know sometimes it can be hard to feel excited. I mean, a new pack of gum? Yeah. Great. That's practically an every day occurrence around here....but perhaps this person doesn't purchase gum that often. Or maybe it's a new flavor. Or possibly they just really, really like gum. And the fact that they came to YOU to share their joy should have meaning to you. They chose YOU to be the person in their lives that they wanted to talk to! So open your heart and be excited! Stop a moment and SEE them, watch the twinkle in their eye, follow the bounce in their step, realize how much this means to them and join them in their joy. Their joy can become your joy if you just let it.

Photo taken from here.

While we tend to have a hard time getting excited about the little things, because-well, to us, they're little, it's the big things that have the biggest impact on us as the news receivers. Perhaps your best friend is moving to a new state-or even a new country! Maybe your co-worker is having her fifth child while you're still trying for your first. Or your brother purchased a new house while you're struggling to make rent on your dingy apartment.... remember, when you give a less-than-enthusiastic response, you just may be stealing their happiness, which does not help you in the least. Having a best friend who is no longer excitedly looking forward to moving does not keep them in the house across the street. Neither does stealing your brothers joy over his new house get you into one of your own faster...so why not just let them be happy?

Photo taken from here.

Often times when someone comes to us with great news, it is our reaction to feel jealous. We compare. We look at their sparkle and find that it exposes our shadows. And so, we desire to quickly turn out the light. How can we stop that natural instinct? How can we go from wishing their home was our home, to celebrating in the light they are giving off?

It may help to understand exactly what causes our jealousy. When our best friend decides to move to an exciting new country, we feel jealous of her. We may look at her and wonder, "what did she do to deserve that?" "How can she leave me here all alone?" "Why can she afford that when I cannot?" The problem is, these questions quickly and subtly turn into questions about ourselves-"what quality am I lacking that I am not provided these opportunities?" "Why doesn't anyone love me?" "Why am I not smart enough to land her job?" and these insecurities are very damaging to ourselves, while not harming your best friend in the least. Irish writer Elizabeth Bowen once wrote, "Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies." But our best friend didn't plan to move just to spite us. And we are not alone. It is really not HER we are jealous of, but the circumstances she finds herself in. "Envy, after all, comes from wanting something that isn't yours." -Jodi Picoult, Perfect Match. What we need to do is find the real source of our jealousy and let the person off the hook. Why do her circumstances make us jealous? Once we have pinned down why we are jealous, let this knowledge help us grow in our own lives. We have a choice. We can choose to grow bitter , or we can choose to make peace with our lives. We can remind ourselves of the good things we DO have. We can remind ourselves that we cannot stop feeling envious, but we can choose the way we deal with it. Do we take away another's joy? Or to we add to it? Do we build resentment towards another's circumstances? Or do we find a way to make peace with it's lack in our own lives (over and over if need be) and participate in the genuine joy radiating off the people around us? My new goal is to always choose joy, and to be sure I make the other person aware of that choice. What's your choice?

What other phrases have you heard, or use, that you think should become more commonplace?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201109/what-drives-jealousy
http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2013/01/22/jealous
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-your-friends-happy-news-fills-you-with-envy-instead-of-joy/

My blog has been awarded!

Sofia over at Star-Spangled Sisu has presented me with the 

Thanks Sofia! She has given me a short list of questions she would like me to answer about myself, so here goes:

1. What's your favorite school subject?
You know, there are so many factors that go into this question, while I was in school I think I'd have to go with English-type classes. Reading...writing...just no vocab quizzes please, and seriously, not every book has some secret, hidden agenda!
2. Where would be your dream place to live?
Hmmm.....it must include water. Preferably a natural source. And sunshine. And finally, I'd want a view (anyplace with natural water, you've pretty much got your view, guaranteed). Someplace that makes my heart sing. I have imagined living on a house boat. Yes, I probably totally romanticize it, plus houseboats don't really ever just float down the river with no actual home these days, which is what is always a part of this fantasy. Somewhere near the ocean sounds amazing, but I know I'd miss the snow; building snow sculptures and snow angels and skating and hot chocolate afterwards. Plus I'd miss the fall; the rainbow of golds and the brilliant reds that splash out against the browns and greens of the leaves and the briskness of the air that makes you feel alive and awake. And what about spring? The tiny, delicate, you-nearly-miss-it splash of color as the flowers come back. So....where can I live that has water, sunshine, seasons, and a view? The only place I know, a lake in MN. Find me that lake house (that I can afford) and I'm back in a heartbeat. So long, dear husband. ;)

©Jenae Karvonen

3. What have you read lately?
 Aside from starting and finishing the book that had been waiting on my nightstand in my previous post(LEFT neglected by Lisa Genova, a slow start, but totally worth it)? The comics from the Sunday paper (yes, I know it is Friday already), a pile of children's books my daughter and I just brought home from the library, and a couple blogs I was nosing into by following the awards nominations backwards :) But, I just picked up, TODAY, a book I have been looking forward to reading for a long time now-Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis with Beth Clark and can't wait to get started!

4. What do you wish was for supper today?
Whatever it is, I wish I didn't have to worry about how it would affect my nursing baby, or my own personal health goals. Perhaps huge plate of taco salad loaded with guacamole, and spicy salsa, and CHEESE, with a small sprinkling of olives and Doritos. Cooked, created, and delivered to me by someone else, of course. ;)

5. Make a 5 word sentence that describes your day.
Full of two little girls.

6. Cheese, cake, or cheesecake?
AHHHH, CHEESECAKE!  Can I add cheesecake onto my dream supper for desert?? Please?

7. Name a favorite fictional character and why they're your favorite.
Wow, you obviously do not know how many fictional characters I have fallen in love with-just from books! One of the first to come to mind is Anne Shirley (From Anne of Green Gables) because she is so enthusiastic and funny and bubbly-honestly, how could you not love her??  I also love Jo March from Little Woman who is feisty, but oh so lovable. And Polly from The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew. And Peeta Mellark from The Hunger Games because he just has such a gentle heart. Plus Ramona Quimby (featured in Ramona Quimby, Age 8)and Junie B. Jones (From the series by Barbara Park) and Madeline (From Ludwig Bemelmans' books). I could go on and on....maybe it will have to be a post someday :)

8. Why did you start your blog?
For this question I will simply refer you to the first paragraphs of my first post here: Another Giant Leap: I have been wanting to start a blog for a long time now...for so long, in fact, that this first post just may be quite lengthy! I'm not sure what originally started my longing to create a blog, perhaps it was my desire for an outlet. I am a stay at home mom to a very special and unique two-year-old bundle of energy in an area where I have zero family. When we first moved here, I also knew a total of zero other people, and I hold anxieties about leaving my dear adorable daughter with anyone, really, but especially with those I don't know intimately (as family or close, long-time friends) and trust explicitly. I'll write more about that in another post. So, essentially, I need an outlet because I spend all my time with my daughter, and don't take much of a break for myself. No babysitters, no daycares, no preschool, no date nights, just a few hours here and there when I leave her behind with my hubby, or she is sleeping /taking much needed time alone.

Anyways, the itch was there, and when my super-creative and talented-writer sister created a few blogs, here and here, as part of a school class, my desire only increased. I longed to write my own meaningful posts, to create my own meaningful discussions (hint, hint: I really would love audience participation here! Go ahead, challenge my thinking!), and its been moving farther and farther to the front of my mind, day by day, until here I am now!

And finally, 9 facts about myself:
1. I used to think the world actually worked the way it did in books. For example I really thought that if I still slept with my doll and told my friends at age seven, in the end everyone would understand and we'd all be better people.
2. I like to color. In coloring books. With Crayons.
3. If I didn't use my computer as a major source to connect with my current far-away family and friends, I think I would get rid of it until my kiddos started school at least because I think it would be better for building the relationships in my own little family, and for my mental health, too.
4. I want to hang my own photographs on my walls, I guess I'm kinda conceited :)
5. I still want to own some My Little Pony's.
6. I love books! Well known, but who cares?
7. I often prefer to sit in the sun, even on hot days.
8. I really like energetic people. I sometimes go through the drive through at Starbucks just to talk to the bubbly barista. I always drive away with a smile on my face.
9. I wish I could go back to high school. Not that I want to be 18 again or anything, but I like that atmosphere of learning and I don't think it would be quite the same with college classes.

And my

goes out to Meriel from Create3.5 who has a surprisingly interesting blog considering I have no idea how to sew.

And Sofia from Understanding Me for THIS amazing post! I have seldom seen it described this well!

Please answer the following questions, then follow by nominating two other "new" bloggers (less than 200 followers, however you would find that out)! Have fun!

1.What's a random word you like and how would you define it?

2. How did you come up with the title for your blog?

3. How has your day gone, no, really, how are you actually feeling today?

4. What is your favorite quote, and who is it by?

5. What is your favorite blog post you have written and why? 

6.How many blogs do you follow?

7. If you could only read one book for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

8. There is a box. Right there. You just found it. Whats inside?

and 9 random facts about yourself, ready, set go!

My Bookshelf: part two

Image taken from here.

I could not share my bookshelf without including the books contained within this post, because some of them are honestly my absolute favorites. I wish I had had the time and space to include these books in the last post, because I honestly feel a good book can be enjoyed by all ages, and although I understand to a certain extent why books are separated into "children's" "young adult" and "adult" I feel like people miss out on so many great stories when they restrict themselves to books only found in certain areas. I honestly wish libraries were just a jumble of books with a single "restricted section" reserved strictly for those stories with content children should not read. I love to browse my entire library and you will find me curled up on my couch reading books intended for "children" of all ages. So, I hate that my blog has these books so clearly in their own "section" so to speak as I feel they are stories that can be thoroughly enjoyed by adults and children alike. My current bookshelf is completed with the inclusion of these precious books (yes, they are found on my bookshelf--out of my daughters reach, although we do read many of them together almost as often as the ones found on her bookshelf): 

The Velveteen Rabbit: Although this is a really sweet story about a little stuffed rabbit who longs to be "real" and his adventures with the boy he loves, I have mostly saved this book because of the gorgeous illustrations this particular version includes. Count to 10 With A Mouse uses rhythm and rhyme to capture the attention of you and your child and is a tale of a mouses journey through the pages of this beautiful book. You Are My I Love You has wonderful, creative descriptions of a parents relationship with their young child and is sweet in a capture your heart kind of way. Wherever You Are, my love will find you is a parents promise to their child that they will always be loved, in a poetic way that draws you in. This book also has gorgeous, fun illustrations that will make you  wish you had them to hang on the nursery wall. Love Song for a Baby is another book that uses fun descriptions to express the love a parent has for their child in a sweet, poetic way. A Cup of Christmas Tea makes me tear up every. Single. Time. A story of a man who visits his elderly aunt at Christmas, despite all his reservations and excuses for why he shouldn't need to go. Llama Llama Red Pajama is a little llama who loves being tucked into bed by his momma and his worries and reservations on a typical night. I Know a Wee Piggy would be a great book for learning colors. A story about a pig who visits a colorful fair in rhyming verse my daughter can't get enough of. Mornings at the Truck Stop include regular customers and their vehicles the little boy in the story embraces into his routine like they are members of his own family. A great way to introduce the topic of animals and where they live and sleep is A House Is A House For Me. This is also a book written in that rhythmic rhyming style that children simply embrace. The Twelve Gifts of Birth: technically belonging to my daughter, this is a gift to her about the gifts we would hope for all children to receive at birth, things like goodness, happiness, understanding, and hope. A book especially great for helping your child understand those with physical impairments, Puppies For Sale is a heart-tugging story about a little boy who wants to purchase the runt of the litter. Harold and the Purple Crayon is just a cute story about a little boy who uses his purple crayon to create his own little world at bedtime. The Biggest Bear is special in our house because it was daddies favorite book as a boy and is about a child who wishes his family had a bear skin to hang on their barn just like all his neighbors. Green Eggs and Ham -because who can resist Dr. Seuss? My First Read and Learn Bible is a new favorite in our house. Simple, clear stories from the bible to help your child learn all about God and Jesus. I will admit that Hug can get annoying quickly when your child wants to read it over and over again because "hug" really is almost the only word in the entire book, but it is a way too cute story about a baby monkey just looking for a hug-won't anyone help him out? 

Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle is a magical grandmotherly little lady who helps resolve all the problems mothers in her neighborhood experience with their children. Everyone will fall in love with spirited Ramona Quimby-like Junie B. Jones who has just started Kindergarten! If you are looking for a book that will keep you laughing, a book that I would recommend to anyone in a heartbeat, Cheaper by the Dozen is that book. A time-saving father and a quiet mannered mother raise a dozen children all their own. (For anyone who has seen the movie based on this book, I personally cannot understand how they can claim to have gotten that story out of this book-DO NOT refuse to read this book based on the movie, and DO NOT judge this book based on this misrepresentation). Trixie Beldon books are probably pretty comparable to Nancy Drew mysteries, but in my humble 12 year old (or so) opinion, better, and harder to find, so I had to save at least one. What's your favorite children's book?

Image taken from here.

p.s. with a few exceptions I have a harder time keeping track of authors of children's books. I find sorting children's books by author is a bit like just tossing them in one big pile and saying go for it. I remember titles much better at this level. :)

My Bookshelf, part one

Image taken from here

Considering I am a reader, this blog topic was surprisingly difficult for me. Partly because, due to limited space, I really don't even HAVE a "bookshelf" right now, just a box in the closet where I keep a select few books that I just couldn't bear to part with. I am the kind of reader who doesn't usually read a book more than once, and I continue picking up new books, searching for another adventure. Still, I fall in love-with the characters, the places, the ideas within a book, and cannot see it go. I also dream that someday my daughters will read the books I have saved, or I will read the books aloud to them. I realize this may be a bit unrealistic. So, in an ideal world, my bookshelf really could  look like this image on the right:

I have started a board on Pinterest to collect images of titles I wish I owned. Perhaps I haven't saved them because I currently do not have the space for them, or maybe I borrowed the book from the library (or my own personal library-Mom), or maybe I read it on my kindle, but want to own a hard copy (because those are always better). Whatever the reason, this board is still currently hugely lacking in titles. There are just way too many books I have loved to remember all the titles and collect them there. Usually it's a long process of re-discovering the book somewhere and then remembering to come back and pin it.

Anyways, I am a reader of a wide variety of books and genres, but ones that play with my emotions capture my heart the most, as I think you can tell by taking a look at the books I have saved for the future. My current box of books includes these titles:

I do own all the books in the Harry Potter Series, by J.K. Rowling, but just chose the first two to represent them here. If you have yet to read Harry Potter-do it. Do it now. I don't care if it is one of those books that are just too "common" for you, or if you think you don't like fantasy books, or if you're afraid of wizards. Whatever the reason, I promise you, it will be worth your time. Situated in post civil war America The Help , by Kathryn Stockett, is written in the viewpoint of two black women and one white woman. Both of the black women are maids working for their white "masters" (no longer being owners) as citizens of the "lower class", dealing with the confusing and often conflicting worlds of those who work in such intimate settings. The white woman, Skeeter, is a new college graduate with a degree in journalism who has just returned home and cannot seem to fit within the social guidelines her mother and her friends expect from her. Seemingly on very different paths, the three women band together on a project that will risk their very lives and open the eyes of many around them. The Last Valentine, by James Michael Pratt, is a love story like no other. A woman says goodbye to her Navy pilot husband and then proceeds to wait for him to return home for the next 50 years-until the day she receives the last valentine he ever sent her. Sounds very blase based on my description, but just read it. ;) The very best book Jodi Picoult has written in the history of ever (IMHO): My Sisters Keeper. A tear jerking story with a surprising twist at the end. It is about a little girl who was conceived specifically to save her dying older sister from cancer and her fight for the rights to her own body. Sounds creepy, I know, but you'll just have to trust me on this one. Seriously. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hesseini. It's been so long since I've read this book I cannot clearly remember what it was about. Two little boys, one the son of a servant, the other the son of the rich man and their friendship, betrayal, and redemption....or something like that. A story any high schooler could identify with, and especially anyone who has ever been ostracized, singled out, picked on, teased, bullied would be Please Stop Laughing at Me, by Jodi Blanco. I read it in 11th or 12th grade and cried and cried.... tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom is one of those uplifting books that will seriously change your life. It is one of the few books I have chosen to read more than once. A struggling young man visits his old {favorite} college professor on his death bed and learns more lessons from this sweet, wise old man than anyone could ever imagine. The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins- read the first book, then stop. I promise you you will enjoy the series much better this way. This book shocked me and tore at my heart. It is a book about sisterhood, love, loss, and humanity. Somebody Else's Kid by Torey Hayden is here to represent all Torey Hayden books. Torey Hayden is a real teacher working in a real classroom full of troubled students. She is the teacher to the children who are unteachable-the last ditch effort, you could say. Someplace for the children everyone else has given up on- and she shares their stories with a heart so big, and a will so powerful, you cannot help but be amazed. From Christmas to Christmas. A collection of short stories centered around a Christmas theme and taking place within the Laestadian Lutheran religion (which I am a part of). The Louis L'amour book is actually technically part of my husbands bookshelf, unlike me he reads the same books over and over until they are memorized, and then reads them again-Louis' are his favorite. He also keeps Vince Flynns and books in the Jack Reacher series by Lee Child. I wanted to have them represented here because sometimes they are exactly the kind of light read I need to get through in one night without really thinking at all. :) And, The Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel. A self-help book that, though I haven't completed it and read it in starts and stops (which is why I still have it),  has really helped me grow into a stronger, more confident person. Of course, no bookshelf is really complete without including the books on the nightstand-I don't have room on mine to hold all of the books I have collected to "read later", but it does always hold one I am reading or waiting to read-currently we are in the waiting stage, but it comes highly recommended by my mom, and she is my favorite go-to place for recommendations, and so I anticipate adding it to my "must own someday" books. The top two books are the ones on my nightstand: 

What book are you into right now?

**I apologize to Sofia B. if she was hoping for a recommendation for a new book to read, I doubt she will find one here. :)

Challenge Post Topic: The Books On Your Bookshelf. Challenged by Sofia.

Connect with someone!

This is a topic that has been covered by many a blogger, but I think it's something that cannot be said enough: we need to remember to connect with others! Some say this immersion into our own private worlds is a new phenomenon, created by the invention of that ultimate attention grabbing device-the smart phone. But, whether it be today....

Photo taken from here.

Or yesterday.....

Photo taken from here.

it is a reminder that simply cannot be overdone. Talk to a stranger. Reconnect with an old friend. Call your parents. Hug your child. Spend time with your husband. Listen to your best friend. Away from the phone with all its apps, away from the computer with all its social media, away from the newspaper with all its solitude. One thing popular blog Humans of New York continually reinstates in me is the knowledge that everyone has an important life lesson to teach. We, as a society, can be so quick to judge each other- by our clothing, our hairstyles, our talents, and our bad days. We need to support each other and love each other and carry each other through the rough times. As my super-creative sister reminded me in a recent post on her own blog it cannot be said any better than this quote from the book To Kill a Mockingbird:

Purchase this mug here.

So, Stop. Listen. Learn. Connect. See.

Blog Post Challenge Topic: one important thing people should stop/start doing more. Challenged by Sofia from Star-Spangled Sisu.