How do you know?

I ended my last post on a really positive note telling you all how you shouldn't worry about if you're better than anyone. If only it were so easy. Somehow, the doubt creeps in regardless. It starts out as a little wriggling thought, and it slowly feeds on all my other thoughts until it is so big it bursts from my brain and fills my whole body. It's not worth it. Why do you bother? Does anyone really care? It grows and expands to include more and more questions. To include more and more of my life. It turns everything anyone says, and every thought I've ever had into self-doubt. It runs through my mind over and over like a hamster on a wheel. It spirals and swirls around and around until it is the only color filling my soul. And I try to stop it. I need to stop it.

 I clutch onto my husbands encouraging words. How do you know? I throw them back at each phrase. I pitch them as hard as I can. I whip them back with all my energy.

It's not worth it. How do you know? 
No one really cares. How do you know? 
You're not good enough for this. How do you know? Who made you the expert? 

And still they surround me. So I grasp out for more words. Ones from my sister this time. I feed them in tandem.

 Why do you bother? Stop trying to be good, just be. Besides, how do you know? 
What makes you think you have anything to give?What makes you think I don't? How do you know I haven't already? Besides, stop trying to be good, just be and the good will come.

And it works...until it doesn't. And I have to toe-hold onto more encouraging words. Many beautiful things go un-noticed. 

But yours isn't beautiful. How do you know?

Slowly, surely, I can win the battle. By feeding each questioning thought, each self-deprecating statement with a million encouragements, I can do it. But it takes outside help. I need help from you to find that encouragement. To discover the beauty, the talent, the worthiness inside of me. Thank you for being that help.

What do you do on days you're overwhelmed with self-doubt? Do you have any particular encouraging words that help you most?