1. Find someone you trust, then trust her/him completely. Unless you are clear during the interview process that you will expect your nanny to stay home always, allow the nanny to bring your children places, to plan activities, and to care for them completely, just as you would with your spouse, parents, or best friend. Understanding that trust takes time to build, if you cannot trust your nanny completely after one year, it's probably time to find someone else.
2. Let her/him celebrate with your children. Your nanny has grown to love your children and wants to be there to celebrate special occasions-birthdays, graduations, and other major accomplishments. Even if you cannot, or wish not to invite her/him into your own celebrations, make it clear that the nanny can plan a small second celebration during normal working hours-a gift, a cake, etc.
3. Schedule in regular time to discuss things with your nanny. Most "normal" jobs have monthly meetings, teachers schedule conferences with parents, and daycare's have both meetings AND conferences! Just as in these instances it is a good idea to schedule in time to discuss with your nanny how things are going. What you feel is missing in her/his performance, what the nanny is struggling to accomplish, any discipline concerns, what the children are learning (if applicable) and what things are going well for everyone concerned.
4. Don't ask her/him to work if you don't need them! This may have been a personal pet peeve of mine, but it was really frustrating to me to come to work on days when the parents planned to be home and spending time with the kids. When you are around your kids they want YOU-for everything! Realistically, the nanny isn't going to be much help and no matter how much he/she loves the work, watching you interact with your kids all day can be a bit boring. Your nanny would rather be at home that day-if you were going to pay her/him to come in for the day, it would be awfully nice for you to pass that on to her/him at home, too!
5. Be realistic. Even stay at home moms cannot get the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting done everyday, so why would you expect it of your nanny? Pay close attention to what you accomplish on the days you're home with your kiddos, and don't expect much more from your nanny.
6. Don't be afraid to celebrate with him/her. People like to feel special. Most work places have set up cards for birthdays and anniversaries-your nanny is no different and likes to be remembered on these special days just as much as anyone.
7. Allow him/her to bring their children (when applicable) or be very clear during the interview process that you are not open to this (even if it seems as if there are no kids in his/her future-you never know how long they will work for you, or how quickly things might change!). Bringing kids is a HUGE benefit to any parent who is a nanny. Going hand in hand with this-be understanding about it. Your nannies children will probably demand more of her/his attention than your own simply because that is mom/dad-kids are always more comfortable with their own parents. Children have different temperaments, some seek out adults more often than others. Children of different ages demand varying amounts of attention. For example, babies take more hours worth of hands-on care than a five year old. Also, as long as no house rules are being broken, allow her/him to make their own parenting decisions. If your children are not being neglected, try to find a way to let it go.
8. Be clear on time. If you like to stay after work and chat with coworkers or grab a coffee, add those 10-20 minutes on to your time of arrival back home. If your work often changes and you never know if you can be home on time, make sure your nanny understands this before hire. If you go out of town on short notice, be sure your nanny understands this. If you are only on occasion expected to work late without notice be sure your nanny understands this, and don't be afraid to remind her/him occasionally. Whenever possible, notify your nanny of any changes ASAP.
9. If you notice that she/he has done something above and beyond your expectations, let her/him know! Praise goes a long way.
10. Okay, this one kind of breaks the rule about not spending extra money, but vacation time is always nice and paid is even better. If you get paid vacation at your job, your nanny would be ecstatic if you passed at least a portion of that on to her/him!
Are you a nanny? What keeps you working for your family? What do you wish they would change?
This is so great, just because you know what you're talking about. Awesome:)
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