In The Most Unloving Of Ways

This quote has been going around teaching circles, parenting circles, Pinterest boards, and probably a variety of other 'circles'. And it is a great reminder to us all. But you know what? I think today we should take out the word "kids" and replace it with "humans". The humans who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving of ways. Because, really, we silly humans, it's what we do. When we really need love, support, and encouragement, we bury ourselves in solitude. And while sometimes people really do just need that alone time, usually they can ask for it politely. They apologize, they explain, they ask. But, the best friend who just hollered at you to stay out of her life? She needs you. The sibling who rudely told you it's none of your business? He needs you. The classmate who  just cut you down? They need you. That person who just about killed you by telling you to get lost because they can live without you just fine? Yup, they are hurting you because they need you! Crazy, isn't it? The one who runs away, puts up walls, works hardest to avoid you-- They need you most! 

They need someone who will say, you know what? I'm not letting you run away from me. No matter how far, or how fast, or how long you run- I can keep up. And I'll be here. And you may not be ready to talk yet, but when you are, yep, you can turn to me. Until then, we can run in silence. I'm going where you're going, quietly. Not judging you, not begging you, not insisting that you open up to me, but just waiting to catch you when you trip. That wall you built? I'm gonna climb it. And maybe I can't quite reach the top. But at least then, when you feel lonely and look over the edge, you can spot me silently picking my way towards you and know you are loved. It's easy to allow their lashes to hurt us, to allow them to push us away because of it. But, when you know they are just shouting to be loved, we can set that hurt aside. We can be a bigger person than that. In our society we tend to think it's best to just watch someone run away. That when someone pushes us away we should give them space. That they will come around. That they will find us when they need us. But you know what? We're wrong. When they look around and see no one there they will feel alone and abandoned and unloved. So let's change this. Let's show them they are loved. Will you help me?

Have you used these tactics to push people away? And did it work?