Great Beauty

...is found everywhere. Even in they dying. The dying of the day brings us a beautiful sunset while the dying of the night is a sunrise. The dying of winter brings us tender, new buds and the dying of summer brings freshly gowned trees in glorious colors. And my thoughts linger on the melting of the snow, the glory of a life gone by.

© Jenae Karvonen March 2015

 For you see, the past few weeks these dying flowers keep capturing my attention. As I bustle through the making of meals, the absolute minimum of cleaning and scrubbing I can squeeze in to get by, the washing of tummy drenched bedding.... and more bedding... and more bedding(!) I can't help but smile as I pass by my seemingly unloved bouquet. It was hurriedly clipped and dropped into a jar of water, pushed back onto the windowsill to clear space for sippy cups full of pedialyte and ice cream pails for those lucky moments when we're quick enough....but my browning flowers are completely loved. For they were lovingly chosen by a little girl who knew that 'mommy likes white and clean. It's her favorite' and intentionally purchased by a husband who just likes to see me smile. May my dying flowers bring you a smile today, too. I can always do with a new smile or two, what has made you smile this week?

© Jenae Karvonen March 2015

You Are Amazing!

When sitting down to write today I took a quick peek at my drafts for some inspiration and I noticed a theme: Almost all my post ideas are things we as moms, as Americans, as regular human beings, could work on. Things to pay attention to. Something to do more often or less often. Something to concentrate on to make the world a better place. But all those can wait. Because today, today I am here to tell you-yes, you- you wonderful human being-you thoughtful person out living and loving-you who are struggling through the hard days and breathing in the good ones-you who are out there doing the best that you know how- it may not seem like much, but

you are doing a great job!

©Jenae Karvonen 2006

7 Ways to Use Facebook for Good

1. Facebook is a hot bed of all kinds of news-vacations, new babies, new houses, new hobbies, old hobbies, good days, bad days, funerals, sicknesses. Take a moment to celebrate with or cheer up a friend by using their news to connect with them. Make them a card or call them on the phone. What better way to brighten someones day?! Even if you don't know them well, or haven't talked to them in years, they are your Facebook friend, after all, right??

2. Use all the news mentioned in the previous point to interact with and focus on others. Don't just use it to spread your own news, but pay attention to what others are saying. Comment on their posts-celebrate, sympathize, encourage!

3. Use what you find as an opportunity to better your relationship with God. Take the opportunity to pray for others, and to be thankful for what you have!

4. Focus on positivity. If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it. Keep your comments upbeat. It might be good to pause a moment before hitting the post button and ask yourself: 'would I like to receive this comment?'

5. Send a heartfelt message to your mom. Saying thanks isn't just for Mothers Day you know!

6. Donate to a good cause, or better yet, advocate for one! This can even be as simple as organizing a group of friends to visit someone who is going through a tough time.

7. Pare down your news feed so you can focus on those things that are really important to you! Not only will you come away feeling more fulfilled, but you'll also have more time to spend on other things that matter, too! For example: your husband, your kids, your parents, the book on your nightstand, a new hobby...

Longingful: A Poem

Ah, the sweet bliss of summer.
Time for sun-rise jog on the beach
savor cool drink on the porch swing with mom
fight haze with body-shock splash from buckets with brothers
soak in the heat, develop sun-streaks and dark tones with sisters
splash in still pools, laugh under cascades, drip-dry on towels with friends
lap drippy cones, suck melty ice, swap sun-filled looks with boyfriend
and then:
  he's gone and
         hot tears burn my cheeks
      as the rest of me froze.

Oh, the bright colors of fall.
Time for "grandma's specials" sweaters
crunch through woods, admire, exclaim with dad
go dizzy down hill, burst into leaves with brothers
taste-test coffees, tryout scarves with sisters
giggle through malls, pull out sharpened pencils with friends
and then:
  they test the world and
          hot tears burn my cheeks
     as the rest of me froze.

And, the blind dazzle of winter.
Time for bubble-filled soaks
spice aroma, flour fill, taste bud thrill cookies with mom
triumphant splat, dive back white, scoop, pat with brothers
bundle up starry-eye, star-fill, clear night glides with sisters
and then:
  they become families and
         hot tears burn my cheeks
     as the rest of me froze.

So, the hope of spring.
Time for the melting that forgets to come
insect inspection, nature perplexion with dad
puddle splash, umbrella lash, mud bash with brothers
and then:
  they continue to grow and
          hot tears burn my cheeks
      as the rest of me froze.

The loss of seasons.
The end of a time...
and then:
  a search for new as
         hot tears burn my cheeks
     and the rest of me is frozen,

December, 2007

On Being "Just" A Mom

© Jenae Karvonen 2015

When participating in small talk or meeting someone new, a question that is often asked is "what do you do for work?" and I respond that I 'just stay at home' or that I'm 'just a mom'. A number of times I've been told to NEVER describe myself as 'just'-like I am degrading myself or my position. Like including that one little 'just' should make me ashamed of who I am or what I do. And when I am rebuked like that, for a moment-just a moment- I DO feel ashamed. But you see, usually I am PROUD of that 'just'. To me, the chance to be 'just' a mom- not a nanny/mom, not a teacher/mom, not a nurse/mom, not an accountant/mom, not a translator/mom, not an any-kind-of-working/mom is a privilege. It means my husband finally makes enough money to allow me the luxury of staying home with my kids all day, every day. It has been a dream of mine for YEARS and I love saying that I am just a mom. And when someone tells me that they work full time or part time as a mom, I either see the joy in their eyes and know it's perfect for them (so I can feel happy for them), or I hope that, someday, they have the chance to be as lucky as I am. Just as someone who has worked hard at both at school and at work to make something of themselves, I have worked hard at home. I know you work hard, and you know I work hard. I know you love your kids, and you know I love mine. You have pride in your position at work and I have a sense of pride in my position as "just" a stay at home mom. In that description, I feel that it lets everyone know that in my house my kids clothes are washed by me, my kids house is cleaned by me, my kids boogers and tears are wiped by me, my kids worst fights are resolved by me, my kids happy moments are cheered on by me, my kids playmate is sometimes me, my kids life revolves around me. I feel like I get to be a little of everything- accountant, nurse, nanny, teacher, translator. For the good and the bad, I GET to be there in my child's life, and I love it. So please, when I tell you I am 'just' a mom, don't think I look down upon myself, or that I am less of a person because I don't work like you, this is my CHOICE and I am PROUD of it.

Do you feel proud of where you are in life? Are you a working mom or 'just' a mom? Have you ever been made to feel guilty about staying home?

Today I feel...

wonderful. It was a refreshingly relaxing day. Complete with a phone call to Mama. I love you, Mom! An outing and some Christmas lights. Warm soup and a warm home. A bump into friends. A quiet toddler. A teething baby. I am at peace with my day.

And wonder-full. Where did November go? I used to think the busy-ness of November and December was a bit of a lark. They can only be as busy as you make them, right?? And yet, somehow, despite doing no big Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends, no Christmas decorating or shopping or other Holiday prepping, November completely slipped away. I had blog posts planned, but not written. Words thought out again and again, but never typed. A plan, a dream, a mission. I've missed you, my friends.

And soon, my girls and I take off-to fly to a place often thought of, to pack our days with precious loved ones, to spend a month away from home. And I will miss you still.

May you all feel loved, may you all have hope, and may you all be at peace today.

Poetry in November

Shattered

My dreams
were big,
but I disregarded them all.
I focused
on one
and began to watch it fall.
All I needed to do was catch that star.

I searched,
I studied,
and I ran to catch that star.
I cried,
I pleaded,
I couldn't run that far.
In the end, the dream fell into bits upon the floor.

With pain,
with tears
I slowly picked those pieces up.
With silence
and fears
I scattered them out the door.
My big dream was gone forever.

But then,
one by one
strangers chose the pieces off the ground
with love
and tenderness
they cherished the treasures they had found
until only one was left.

I picked it up to realize it was the dream that would truly make me happy.
~2006